On Loving God

I got to take part in an interesting discussion earlier this week with some men about the importance of pure motives in our relationship with God. It was stressed, and rightly so, that we need to make sure that we are seeking after God and not just what He can do for us – His blessings. As surely true as this is, it is also interesting that God Himself is not above using our own self-interest to motivate us. One clear example of this (and there are hundreds if not thousands of examples in the Bible!) is how God admonished the people through Moses as they prepared to enter the promised land. Over and over again God told the people to be careful to keep all the commandments and here is the motivation that was repeatedly given for it:

“Keep His decrees and commands, which I am giving you today, so that it may go well with you and your children after you and that you may live long in the land the Lord you God gives you for all time.” Deut 4:40

Of course, the greatest appeal to self-interest (self-preservation) is the appeal to avoid ending up in hell! Some of the teachings of Jesus Himself come to mind in this regard… “ … do not be afraid of those who kill the body and after that can do no more… Fear him who, after the killing of the body, has power to throw you into hell. Yes, I tell you, fear him…. What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul?...”

So how is all of this self-interest in any way legitimate when we consider how the Bible also calls us to a pure love for God and others of the type that God has for us which is a love that is completely free of self-interest and, to the contrary, is actually self-sacrificing?

Well, first of all, love of self is not an illegitimate motive. We do not sin when we care for ourselves. In fact, we cannot but love ourselves. We might not like ourselves sometimes but there is no question that we all love ourselves a great deal! And it would seem that this is not only allowed for, but counted on. We are told to love our neighbours as we love ourselves and men are instructed to love our wives as we love ourselves. (Eph 5)

It seems to me that the best way for us to understand this is to think about it in the context of personal growth towards maturity. When our children are small they are not really capable of operating much apart from self-interest. So what do we do? We appeal to their self-interest and we put ‘artificial consequences’ in place to at least steer them in the right direction. But our goal is not simply to control their behaviour because we do what we do in the hope that they will gradually grow into mature people who will then be moved by much higher values and ideals.

And it would seem to me that God takes a similar approach with us. First off, let’s be honest. None of us are as altruistic in our motivation as we like to think we are. But, while we lack the capacity to have motives that are not directed at least in part by self-interest, God uses that. It isn’t ideal but neither is it illegitimate. He does it to get us going in the right direction, and He definitely does it in hope that we will grow to where we learn to not only love ourselves but to really love Him and others, and that this will become more and more the thing that moves us. Thankfully, God does allow grace for us to grow in these things.

One of the men participating in the discussion time I mentioned referenced some teaching by Bernard of Clairvaux (1090–1153). Bernard wrote an interesting piece on loving God. In it he outlined a progression in the growth of our love for God. Interestingly, he suggests that our love for God begins with loving God for our sake but should grow towards loving ourselves for God’s sake. Think about that! I don’t know a lot about Bernard’s other theological musings but I think he was onto something here.