I have not had much of what could be called spare time over the course of the past couple of weeks, but what time I’ve managed to find for it, I’ve been doing some ‘house cleaning’. Specifically, I’ve been going through paper files; hundreds of them, hundreds of pounds of them, 27 years worth! A lot of them are PPC (prior to personal computers). All of my computer files I can back-up digitally of course, and access them when I need to, so that cuts down on the need for hard copies. But all of the paperwork from my college courses and then all of the teaching and administration work I’ve done as a pastor going back to the 1980s… Wow! What a lot of … stuff!
Though I didn’t approach this task as a new years activity (the timing is coincidental really) it has turned out to be somewhat of a catharsis for me. I couldn’t very well just throw out everything, even though I am striving to be ruthless, I have to at least look at what it is and come to some kind of decision based on need. And so with every box of ‘scrap-paper’ I fill and cart off, I feel just a little bit ‘lighter’. Even while I am certain there will be some good and important data lost in the process, even that feels good in a weird kind of way, like I’m cutting my losses – I’m ‘cleaning house’.
Pretty much every file, in one way or another, represents a lot of time, heart and hard work… notes … insights… ideas ,,, studies … courses taken … speakers heard … conferences attended… planning sessions … massive amounts of teaching and preaching materials … and on and on and on… It’s all personal. There is an definite attachment. And letting go of these types of things - things you’ve laboured over and in some way celebrated - involves letting go of the past. And that isn’t an easy thing for most of us to do. It involves an element of pain, or loss if you will, but there is also a healing to be found in it. After all, we are not meant to live in the past. We are meant for movement.
I’m a long way from being finished. I just ran out of time and I don’t know exactly when I will get back to it, but I will. I intend to see this through. You can call it a new years resolution if you want. But whatever it might be, I’m feeling good about it. It’s helping me to look forward and that is definitely the posture I want to be assuming at this point in my life.
“Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” The Apostle Paul
So what are you holding onto that you really need to say good bye to?
Self mostly I think.
ReplyDelete:) I hear you.
ReplyDeleteWoot! Go Steve! Its very liberating to let go but I find it hard to throw out any of my writing. I start out with good intentions, I want to be free! Then I start reading and reflecting and oh yeah I had started with this idea or that project etc... then suddenly I grab new paper and start writing notes about my notes. As I look back and read about myself I see how I've changed for better and some for worse, but your right- we can't live in the past. I think if God has something He really wants us to say or do He will impress it again to our heart anew! So,yeah we need to just let it go and move on.
ReplyDeleteI need to let go of my faulty way of dealing with pain this year. Once and for all. Fact is we will all have pain in our lives of somekind, be it physical, mental or emotional. I hear a small wisper quite often lately that says "give me your pain." I'm just not exactly sure how to let pain go when i've had it so long. I don't know how to deal, where would it go? Oh shoot is this about trust again? :)
Coincidentally i am doing the same, or want to be or should be doing more of the same. I am not a hoarder but everytime I pick something up that I havent touched in 20 years its still but you may need it.
ReplyDeleteIts not easy its hard letting go of stuff, but really it becomes a question of what we need to keep. If it does not meet the need criteria ie will be used in the future then its sorted to done. No longer required, but then can someone else use it. That pile is the give away pile. It definetly feels good to give it away. Especially if the reciever really appreciates it.
Well I appreciate your thoughts and blog.
Keep throwing gems our way, your mining diamonds of a different kind. Earthly diamonds bring sparkle and glitter and your diamonds bring a new life in Christ that sparkles like the sun.
:) Rachael, in many ways we are kindred spirits I think you and I, particularly when it comes to books and writing and thoughts and introspection and ...
ReplyDeleteAs for letting go, that's not our only problem. Not only do we struggle to let go, we struggle to take hold! I think it's all part of the same problem though and yeah, at some point it does come down to trusting God doesn't it. O well, we are all in this together.
Buck, it's Murphy's Law right - you don't usually need something until you get rid of it! But, I'm thinking that Murphy wasn't all that tight with the Lord. I agree about the giving thing but I can't think of anyone who would really appreciate my piles of paper notes.
ReplyDeleteThanks as well for your encouraging comments Buck. It is a gift you have to give as well.